The end, the beginning

I came home from Texas a little more than six weeks ago, but in many ways it feels like longer. Probably because I haven’t had a job to go to. You’d be surprised how exhausting it is to do nothing. Nothing, that is, except thinking, and wondering, and reflecting. Hanging out with family and friends. Sleeping. Watching tv. Eating way too much. Drinking way too much. Walking the dog. Reading books.

There were times when I wanted to throw myself on the floor and pound my fists on the carpet like a toddler because I was so bored.

There were times when my mind swam with anxiety, knotting my stomach, filling me with judgements of my own foolishness for quitting my job without more money or a better plan.

And there were times when I was grateful, and times when I was sad, and times when I was blissful and alive with love for this place and my people.

I leave tomorrow for California, and in the next few months I plan to make my way up the coast, primarily by train, to Oregon and Washington, finishing in Vancouver. I have heard the train is excruciatingly slow if you have somewhere to be, but thankfully, I am in no hurry.

No matter where I go, one thing is clear. My heart will always be in Colorado.


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